My deep, very deep thoughts...

Prior to starting our adoption journey in Africa we began in Brazil. It wasn't pretty: too much time, money and paper work. This entry from my diary shows that I was in depths of despair over the whole thing.












Adoption for me is more than "getting a child" but saving one child from a life of loneliness, fear and cruelty.
Yet I feel that all these obstacles that are put in front of us are a possible sign that this is not to be.
They make you feel that adoption is a bad thing.
Adoption is for:
the desperate,
the rich,
the stubborn ones,
and yet maybe it's God telling us to not go this route.
Maybe we are not meant to do this.
Maybe we need to look at a different angle.
I just wanted to adopt a little boy who needed a place to hang out as he grows to be a man.
I just can't understand why we must 'fight' and 'struggle' to adopt one child - I don't need a specific color, race, sex, or age - I just want one, yet I feel we are asking too much.
Why are we being felt that we are being pushed out from adopting?
I had this fantasy that we were doing such a great thing and now I just want to throw in the towel.
Surrogate was something I thought for a half a sec, in-vitro and more drugs to get me pregnant were also only fleeting thoughts because we had a belief that adoption would mean so much more to us and it would make us complete.
God, I ask again, to guide and tell us where we should be going.

Adoption Awareness Month

This month is Adoption Awareness Month.
We all know of someone who has been adopted, who has adopted or given a child for adoption. All three are linked together so tightly.
The families in all three are touched by it. Some by joy, some by sadness and some by a mixture of emotions that only one who goes through it can describe it.
I think adoption is a great thing...sometimes to a fault.
Just recently I caught myself saying to someone who just told me their sister is expecting for baby #2 and I said, 'Why don't they adopt?"
It was only the following day that I realized what I said.
Maybe the cartoon that I posted (click here) got to me!
A blogger friend: The Funk Family, are now on their third adoption journey.
They have been waiting a very long for this adoption to become a reality.
Their faith and their children keep them persevering.
Do pay them a visit and leave a comment if you have time. (Note:To my prairie readers the Funk Family are from Saskatchewan.)

Put Your Hand in My Hand

I love the boys' finger prints that are left displayed on the windows, the mirrors, or on the freshly cleaned appliances.
Really it doesn't bother me.
It would have years ago when I was really anal.
That is why I am grateful that parenthood didn't come to me as quickly as I wanted it to.
Had it come than I know that I would have been nagging at them and frantically cleaning behind them!
But now, I'll purposely not clean the mirror that is covered with hand prints.
I think it's just so darn cute.
I 'inked' the boys' hands and got them framed.
I hope that I"ll be able to see these little fingers grow to become strong hands of men.
Do you think they'll let me hold their hands once they are older? Probably not.
But I'll have their love in my heart and their framed hand prints.

Frightfully Good Times

As the mommy witch I must say that it was a bewitching Halloween! James who is petrified of dogs asked to be a puppy and Parker's buddy lent him his monkey costume. Both boys were able to make the sound effects of their animal and devilishly enjoy eating their candies!

James loves being center of attention so October 31 satisfied him completely! He woke up this morning dressed up in his puppy outfit. I think he thought this was going to be an ongoing event!